When I become a novelist!!!(???)

If I ever was or ever would be a novelist, what would have been my novel about??? would that be suspense or high phase drama? Fantasy or ground reality?? Tragedy or Comdey??? Would it be truth or would it be a lie???

Like most of the she writers- I might write about 'her' or 'I'. I will not meander into the niceties of the 'He'. Even if I did, that would not be interesting at all!! Would that ever be!!! Even if it was, I wouldn't know. Because except for the understanding that I have about the opposite sex as a partner, a friend or a brother I actually have not observed them as a subject matter for my novel. That is an area I will have to catch up quite a lot befor I start on the novel- if not for the main character, atleast to create my side characters..

I want my charcaters to be glocal- that is, local characters that global readers will be able to relate to. Obviously I will not be able to write about the heroine who grew up in the Prince Edward Island because I do not KNOW where the heck Prince Endward Island is!!! All I will be able to write about is some 'Maria' or 'Shantha' somewhere in Chittady, Mundakayam, Kanjirapally area.. At the most my geographical spread can reach up to Kottayam. Another obvious option is to draw some inspiration from our own Shantaram who wrote about Bombay. But so far, the one and a half Hyderabad years have certainly not given me my novel plot though showered abundance of other things(these other things could be the subject matter for my 'farewell Hyderabad' blog which could be published in future)

Now, what would my heroine be?? I can't make her a romantic- that is so out of fashion today.. And I cant make her a realist-that would be soo badly unromantic!!!Then, it would be like a plot of life- boring, mundane never ending loop called life!! [Gosh!!! this is becoming quite a tough decision..]

I will bring in a degree of sarcastic humour and with a sigh, wonder about the moral standard of the world..[Oh!! that will be too much austenish!!!]What if I make her an innocent, passionate, lively person.. [Glen, stop it..I am warning you again!!! Your heroine is not from Prince Edward Island!!] Ok, what about making her an unlucky, miserable woman[Not again!!!we are not talking about your stupid mood swings here!!!]

Readers: The ifs and buts are umpteen!!! You will have to wait..Wait till my novel is publsihed and till then, remember this post to compare what promises I have kept, what I have broken, how my perspective have changed, how much is unchanged and how much of everything I have captured. Adieu, till the novel is published..

Answer me, I am asking you!!!

Why do I have such a vulnerable heart?

Why is it that sometimes the pettiest things prick me?

And leaves me with a heart bleeding to death..

I was the strong one..I am the strong one..in just a handful of ways..

Or is it just the appearences?? Just the pretenses that I make to the world out there which have untouched me in so many little and big ways..

Even to the world within me, I am strong..Strong enough when it is being just fair to me..

Why is it that the God who made this cruel world made me so suspectable to its cruelties??

Answer me!!! I am asking you!!!!

Is blogging for losers??!!!

Some days back, I came across the blog of one of my friends..Well, He is not really a friend. I would rather call him an acquaintance. Calling him a friend will not be apt becuase to give the title of friend to each other- we would require something more than being your old room mate's friend and thus having to give cursory nods/smiles/hellos to each other when ever you come upon each other in the road/gym/basement of your apartment. Well, that is not the point. Before I saunter to other irrelevant areas, he had mentioned in his blog that blogging is for losers. Well, I know that it is a rather hasty generalization. I have seen many a blog which is adorned with great creativity, sense of humor, emotions which are far from disappointment and frustration. Still, in this light when I look at my own blog, I have to accept that from a winner's blog[now, that is an overstatement;-)] my blog has indeed been sullied into a loser's one.:-(

nd Y is that??!!!!

Well, I have lost it again...

Anne Shirley- the girl who shaped my personality

This was never meant to be a blog post. It was written for some other purpose and now that the purpose is accomplished..I want to treasure it ..To keep it all safe under one pandora's box.:-) Hence its been labelled-'for safe keeping'

People draw inspiration from others who have had a deep influence on them right from their childhood or from exemplary personalities they came to know or read about in life. I have also been thus inspired by many. But the biggest inspiration I have drawn is not from a close relative or a famous personality, but from a fictional character called ‘Anne Shirley’.
Anne Shirley is the main character of L.M Montgomery’s fiction series starting with ‘Annie of Green Gables’. Annie is a talkative but precocious little girl with a cheery disposition, insightful thoughts and a lot of imagination. It is from Annie that I learned to cultivate and cherish a lively imagination. The way Anne led her life inspired me to be passionate in whatever I do, to enjoy the simple things of life and above all, to love and appreciate nature and its beauty. I am inspired by Annie to find joy in anticipation, to have great expectations out of future, to enjoy every moment of the present and last but not the least, to be unhappy about the little disappointments of life. In anticipating about the future, we might end up in disappointment; the kite that fly high might hit the ground with a ‘thud’ but the moments of flying high is worth the fall with the thud.
Like Anne, I am also inspired to think “Isn't it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive—it's such an interesting world”

Mischief from Heaven

As a kid, I don't even know if I was a mischevious kid. I don't honestly believe I was. But as I grew, the mischief also grew. I have had quite some mischief to my credit. But whose account do you credit when mischief start happening on its own. Sometimes, your mind play mischief on you which you dont have any control over..Sometimes, life simply start playing mischief on you.. I call them the mischief from Heaven. Using my 'professional' language to explain it to myself- mind and life are just the 'custodian owners' of such mischief , they can't influence the mischief.The real owner is some one else- the influencers..He(in this context- it is a Unisex He)decides- sitting over there (again I persume that 'over there' is Heaven) what mischief to play with you, how to affect your life with it and how long to play. You are just a toy tied to a string- doing all those things in the eyes of the out side world when the fact is you are moving as per the orders through the string. What we call in my mother tounge Paavakoothu.There is this string tied around me, not visible but strong, resilient,callous.. which controls..consumes...and which brings all sort of thoughts- mischief from heaven. And you just move as per the movements already decided by the string holder..
How this mischief influences you, you will never know. When you thought you were weak, you were actually strong. When you think you are strong, you are actually week. You decide, this is how you want it, it goes the other way round..not just goes-like that, it takes a pie of your mind too-the other way. When you want something, it will go missing, leaving a void.. The Void might not be filled ever again, but when you get used to the void and get comfortable with its presence, the substance is back!! Not that you want to shun off the substance but it needs getting accustomed to!! And when you get accustomed, suddenly Void becomes the ideal thing- the magic manthra for peaceful living. When you got to sacrifice, you stand up for yourself. And when you got to stand up for yourself, you end up sacrificing. When you don't have the power, you choose. When you have the power, you are not intelligent enough to make a choice!!! You never get used to anything- just as soon as you are about to get used to- there!!!! the mischief happens!!!!
Is it the mischief from Heaven? or from the Hell??I hope I knew the answer.. But I don't.. and here, I choose to call it- what I wrote in the title. If I did it sarcastically, I am yet to find..or may be that is yet another Mischief from He.....!!!

Letter to you...

Dear Blog,

I am sorry I ignored you for quite a long time now.I have my excuse, though it could be just any excuse, I would like to put it across to you in a way you like. As some great guy who was into litearture wrote a long time ago and as it happened that I sort of retained it in my memory almost in a similar form-I was caught in that intricate web of time and space..Caught in that vicious circle of choosing between living life for yourself and for pleasing everyone around you who care about you. Now, you might ask me, if all those burdens are over and if I am out of that vicious circle. The answer is No. But then, over the time I realized that you are the person I should turn to pour my uncomprehensable heart time and again and ignoring you for a long time might work aganist my interests. So, I am back to you dear Blog.
And this time, I promise... I will not deprive you of my attention for any long period of time... Thank you for still being there for me...

Luv,

~Me