What Was and What Could Be!

 I was randomly looking at my blog rolls. Read the posts that some of my friends had written in the recent times.

I really admire them for keeping it going still, for keeping it alive. It should be the passion for writing or the passion for expressing themselves. I don’t think anything else could have kept them going.

The irony is I used to be a passionate one myself. People used to call me a passionate girl. But I think my problem is being passionate about this and that… I have not really stuck to or stuck up for anything.  I guess there is nothing that I have not tried. But I have not stuck to anything.

While growing up, I have gone for dance classes, musical instruments like piano, and guitar, karate, volleyball but never finished anything. That is when I discovered writing, I found joy in it, and it kept me grounded. But the point, as always is, I don’t stick to anything. Once I left school, I hardly wrote anything till around post- graduation. Then, writing became a necessary skill upgrade that I had to do and which I was good at.

Then I started blogging when I was living in Hyderabad. I don’t know if it is Hyderabad or if it was that particular phase of life that I was in; I did it and enjoyed doing it. That was more than 3 years ago.

Many things have changed since then. I moved to Bangalore, changed my team, got married, changed team and profile again, changed job, all in that order. And another obvious change is I have not really penned down anything here. Well, I would have a couple of lines, but nothing worthwhile… nothing me..

It is not that I don’t have the words, I have them in plenty. But feels like, I have ran out of ideas. Is it the change of air from Hyderabad to Bangalore? Well, it shouldn’t be, that is just geography. It can’t be getting married or changing jobs either. Especially, when I have got a husband who supports and encourages what I love doing in my life and when my professional life revolves around content, communication and the new media platforms.

I think it is just the genetic wiring of not sticking with things in life and always regretting the part that I don’t stick.

This is not a New Year resolution, we are already in February. After all, that is just a change of calendar.

But today, I am promising something to myself, I am taking up a challenge. For the next 25 days, I will pen down something here. A writer’s block is too long to last for three years. I can’t wait it to get over or wait for the perfect ‘come back’ post any more. Even if it is absurd rants or raves or private emotions that are better kept under wraps, I do not care. I am not going to pick up cues and prompts either. Even if absurd, it is going to be my ideas and my way of expressing them.

For once, I am going to take up a challenge to myself, stick to it. I am going to be me again.