The million stars in the sky really are…

When I looked into your eyes

I had a heart full of things to say.

Instead,  I wrote them down on a piece of paper

And then tore it up into a million pieces.

When I sent them flying into the air

They went up high with flying wings.

Now when I gaze at the million stars

Under the crystal moon,

I see all that I left unsaid.

Anticipation

On your wings, I shall soar to the distant land of the setting sun

And there I will walk with a bounce on my feet, a little swing to my hips

While the slanting rays makes a crimson sky from my facial blush

I know soon I might drop to the ground with a muffled thud

But still I will dance, I will bounce and swing

For it is worth the thud.. and the fall- almost always

Away from Everything..At No Man's Land!

A short break from everything. Not just from work, but from the normal way of life itself. From TV and all kinds of electronic equipment for entertainment, from Facebook, LI, and other myriad ways of staying connected including mobile phones. 

I never imagined living for a few days without mobile phones and electricity, but that’s what I did when Tony and I went for a short break to Gokarna to ring in our first wedding anniversary.

Gokarna is a beach town in northern Karnataka. I have heard a colloquial usage, in Malayalam, of the word Gokarna to imply a no man’s land. Though a popular pilgrimage destination for Hindus, for the tourist without a spiritual objective, it is indeed a no man’s land or rather a land without the modern, commercialized conveniences.

Apart from the holy beach of Gokarna, there are 4 more beaches in Gokarna. Aum, Kudlu, Half Moon and Full Moon aka Paradise beach.  While Aum beach remains the most happening beach resembling the night life of yester year Goa, other beaches are very secluded and non-happening for the ones who like the quiet and solitude. The Half Moon beach and Paradise beaches are not even accessible by road. A long trek up and down a hill awaits the sporty and outdoor loving folks; others have the option to reach there using speed boats.

Our objective was to get to the most secluded beach and hence we started a trek to Paradise beach from Kudlu. After leading the broiler hen life for so long, it was not an easy trek and I almost lost my breath by the time we reached Paradise. The accommodation facilities here are shacks made out of dried coconut leaves and mud polished floors. Just the basics! As much as the beach was secluded, we were surprised to note that there were no available shacks. A group of the new age hippies had come the day before and occupied the entire facilities in the beach. No wonder this beach is known as the hippie’s paradise. Unable to make another trek with the heavy back packs under the hot sun, we hired a speed boat to reach the half-moon beach. May be because of the weaker positioning as a secluded beach compared to Paradise, ironically, Half Moon was the most secluded beach of all, with a handful of shacks thrown in here and there. We talked to the shack operators and gladly occupied a simple shack with a rent of Rs. 100 per day- just a roof on the shoulders.

As much as the idea of doing nothing, except swimming in the sea, sun bathing and lazing around in the shades for a few days, was appealing; the food available there ( rice and dhal, cold beers) was not enough for us. So we decided to take a trek in the evening to Aum Beach to have a dinner of fresh sea food along with a couple of beers. The restaurant in Aum beach, where we ate a continental breakfast before trekking up to Paradise, was beckoning. I still can’t seem to forget the pomfret, grilled prawns and king fish we had from there any time in the coming few decades. To top it off, there was a lovely performance of fire dancing by a group of daring foreigners at Aum Beach.

This was pretty much the schedule for the next couple of days. A trek up and down a hill from Half Moon beach to Aum in the mornings for a continental breakfast, same pilgrimage repeated in the evenings for a mouth- watering dinner of sea food dishes. The time in between filled with swims in the sea and sun bathed naps along with cold beers of course!

A few days of doing nothing, staying away from the rat races, and staying away from the social oxygen. Woah…so much for being a Millennial!!

What Was and What Could Be!

 I was randomly looking at my blog rolls. Read the posts that some of my friends had written in the recent times.

I really admire them for keeping it going still, for keeping it alive. It should be the passion for writing or the passion for expressing themselves. I don’t think anything else could have kept them going.

The irony is I used to be a passionate one myself. People used to call me a passionate girl. But I think my problem is being passionate about this and that… I have not really stuck to or stuck up for anything.  I guess there is nothing that I have not tried. But I have not stuck to anything.

While growing up, I have gone for dance classes, musical instruments like piano, and guitar, karate, volleyball but never finished anything. That is when I discovered writing, I found joy in it, and it kept me grounded. But the point, as always is, I don’t stick to anything. Once I left school, I hardly wrote anything till around post- graduation. Then, writing became a necessary skill upgrade that I had to do and which I was good at.

Then I started blogging when I was living in Hyderabad. I don’t know if it is Hyderabad or if it was that particular phase of life that I was in; I did it and enjoyed doing it. That was more than 3 years ago.

Many things have changed since then. I moved to Bangalore, changed my team, got married, changed team and profile again, changed job, all in that order. And another obvious change is I have not really penned down anything here. Well, I would have a couple of lines, but nothing worthwhile… nothing me..

It is not that I don’t have the words, I have them in plenty. But feels like, I have ran out of ideas. Is it the change of air from Hyderabad to Bangalore? Well, it shouldn’t be, that is just geography. It can’t be getting married or changing jobs either. Especially, when I have got a husband who supports and encourages what I love doing in my life and when my professional life revolves around content, communication and the new media platforms.

I think it is just the genetic wiring of not sticking with things in life and always regretting the part that I don’t stick.

This is not a New Year resolution, we are already in February. After all, that is just a change of calendar.

But today, I am promising something to myself, I am taking up a challenge. For the next 25 days, I will pen down something here. A writer’s block is too long to last for three years. I can’t wait it to get over or wait for the perfect ‘come back’ post any more. Even if it is absurd rants or raves or private emotions that are better kept under wraps, I do not care. I am not going to pick up cues and prompts either. Even if absurd, it is going to be my ideas and my way of expressing them.

For once, I am going to take up a challenge to myself, stick to it. I am going to be me again.

Why does a child laugh when you throw it in the air and catch him??

I have come across this analogy a million times.

Why does a child laugh out with delight when you throw it in the air? The answer has always been this—Faith or belief in the person who throws it in the air. The child has complete faith entrusted on this adult that he or she will catch him and not let him fall.

Never did this analogy raise any kind of curiosity or doubt in me..untill yesterday.. Yesterday, I heard it again. I had been in the church for the usual Sunday mass. On account of walking from home to church, I was a little late and reached the church only after the Bible reading. It was time for the preaching and this was one of his stories of the day.

Then I started wondering.. Is it really due to the strong faith in the adult who throws him up in the air, that the child doesn’t cry, but laughs out with delight? Or is it because of ignorance? Ignorance of the fact that if he is not caught in time, he will fall down? Ignorance of the fact that if he falls down, it will hurt bad?? Ignorance of the feeling of hurt or pain in itself?

The child is just not conditioned yet that a fall from such a height could lead to pain. Until you know it, you are fearless. Ignorance makes you fearless. If the child had an experience of falling from a height and getting hurt in the process, I don’t think he or she would ever laugh out loud again when they are thrown in the air to be caught…

On Marlowe's poem!

Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?Asked Marlowe; I did, said I for I agree
It lies not in our power to love or hate,
For will in us is overruled by fateAnd what if fate decides for our love to bloom
Like a morning flower with the first rays of the sun
Than like a thunderbolt that strikes in a jiffy

My sight was not chosen by love nor love by sight
But directed by overruling fate with all its might
I have been asked to love you..
Nd I love you with all will in me..